Back to the Old Grind...

Exams are over, and it's finally time for the second semester to begin. After a few months at John Carroll, the thing I've most learned to keep in mind is responsible time distribution. In other words, priorities. Quite a few times this year, my short attention span has gotten me into trouble, and I've managed to get some poor grades on a few assignments. Beginning a new year and a new semester, I'm finally really opening my eyes to see that the assignments from teachers at John Carroll aren't going to be very easy most of the time. I'm going to have to find a way to sit down and plow through a couple hours of homework, while avoiding distractions. This is sure to be a challenge for me, but I'm up for it, and I sincerely believe that this semester is going to be the one in which I am able to finally tackle the beast and change my study habits.

Last semester, I got to spend a weekend in Ocean City, building my faith with my church.

I also spent some time playing with photo editing, improving technique a bit.

As a person, I've genuinely changed quite a bit since late August. I've learned how to operate on less sleep, get more work done in a short amount of time, and just be more efficient in general. But most of all, I think I've finally started to see where my heart lies in terms of desire. Lately, the thing I've wanted to do the most is write. I haven't always been finding time for it, but when I do, I feel myself getting totally lost in the words, forgetting about the world surrounding me. It's truly one of the best feelings I've ever experienced. I'm starting to keep up with my blog a bit more, and even dabble in a bit of poetry. Along with writing, I'm finding that I'm looking for some more time to set aside for dance. In all confusing times in my life, dance has always bee there for me. It's been that one constant that everyone talks about needing as a teenager. I'm starting to see that my day ends up being better if I begin it with a round of drills at the barre in the mornings. I'm thankful to the God that brought me the gift of words and the gift of dance, which are two things that I know how to use to my advantage and repaint life's picture with a little less pain and confusion, and a little more happiness and freedom.

Overall, my outlook for this semester is going to remain positive, and I am determined to become a better student, dancer, writer, and person overall. Thanks for sticking around, and remember, there's only 11 months 'till Christmas, so you should probably get shopping soon! Best Wishes,
~M.

Dream Sequence

In this dream, the colors were very vivid, and most likely symbolic.

The most recent dream I remember having actually took place a few months ago. I tend not to remember dreams when I wake up right away, but then a few weeks later, the dreams come back to me. Anyways, in this dream, I was in a room with wooden floors and walls with a huge window with flowing white curtains streaming from the trimming on one wall. I remember pacing around the room in circles, singing the songs off of my Jack’s Mannequin CD. All of the sudden, a man comes running in, and shoves me against the wall. He started asking me where “it” was, but I didn’t know what he was talking about, so I just kept screaming and trying to get away. Once I managed to slip from his grasp, I began running around the room franticly, trying to find a doorway that was no longer there. I turned around to see that the man had pulled a gun from his pocket, and he was running after me, shooting it in the air. Turning back around to keep running, I ended up tripping on one of the curtains from the window, and I heard a loud, CRACK! It was the bullet flying from the gun, hitting me in the back of the head. After that, the dream became part first person, part third person. I was viewing myself, lying on the ground, but at the same time, I saw the wall in front of me from a floor view. I heard a hissing noise that I knew was coming from my head, almost like in the cartoons when someone was deflating a balloon. I felt a strike of pain, and I cried “noooooooooooooo!” and this red filter came rising up through my vision, like someone was pouring red punch into a glass that I was looking through.  That was the last thing I remember, and then I woke up.